The Toddler's Rule

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.

If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

If it is pointed, it must be run with full speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pen or pencil, it must write on refrigerator, monitor, TV or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting empty.

If it is empty, it must be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If it is a paper, it must be torn.

If it has switches, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it is food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet.